Life Together

The Letter of James has been very frank about the existence of dis­harmony and con­flicts in the church—such as:  Ÿfailing to bridle the tongue (1:26); Ÿplaying favorites (2:1-7); Ÿhaving “faith” that yields no works (2:18); Ÿbless­ing and cursing with the same mouth; Ÿacting out of selfish ambition (3:14).  And that’s just up through chapter 3.

To address these kinds of relational problems, let me recommend a terrific short article (pick up a copy from the ledge in the lobby): “Seven Princi­ples for Healthy Relationships in Church,” by Marilyn Moravec.  Marilyn is a Christian counselor and a friend of Cheryl’s and mine.  Some of her key points are as follows:

It’s ever so important to balance truth and love in our body life as a church (Eph 4:15).  Love is principle number one—love for God and love for one another.  If our motives and actions in relating to each other are not love-driven, we’re at odds with the way of Christ—no matter how correct our words may be.  Yet love without truth is mere senti­mentality.  Truth-telling means having the courage to be open and honest.  After all, no one can read your mind.

It’s crucial as well to show respect for everyone in our church fellowship.  We can respect each other and treat one another kindly even when we have our disagreements.  In fact, since God intends us to have widely varying gifts and strengths (1 Cor 12), the key question is how we’ll handle the inevitable disagreements that arise among us.

A vital principle is dealing with differences by direct com­mun­ica­tion.  Speak for yourself; don’t let yourself to become a mouth­piece for others who remain in the shadows.  Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you” (Matt 18:15).  Moravec points out, “To listen or to talk to another instead of talking to the person with whom you have an issue is gossip, divisive, and therefore sin (Eph. 4:29-32).”

The principle of commitment is critical as well:  “Commit yourself to the process of working toward understanding and unity.  ‘Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace’ (Eph. 4:3).  This work is not optional, but required by God.”