Forgiven & Forgiving

Last Sunday’s sermon took us to the topic of forgiveness:  be ready to forgive your brother or sister in Christ not just seven times, but “seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22).  In other words, don’t keep count; let mercy flow from your heart freely. But a matter that’s not spelled out in Matthew 18 is this:  what if the person who sins against you does not repent of his or her wrongdoing?  Is the Christian still obliged to forgive in that case?

Consider Luke 17:3-4:  Jesus says, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Here, repentance is a key factor.

But take note:  since Jesus teaches that forgiven people forgive others (6:14-15), an unforgiving attitude signals a soul emergency.  A vital part of the Christian life is extending God’s grace to others:  “Freely you have received, freely give” (10:8).  Jesus commands, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (5:44).  This command stands whether an offender repents or not.

I appreciate the way that Tim Keller helps us sort out the various teachings of Jesus here.  The term “forgiveness” is used in two related but distinct ways (Forgive, pp. 106-10).  Sometimes repentance is presupposed (e.g., Luke 17:3-4), but sometimes not (e.g., Matt. 6:14-15; Mark 11:25).  In the former case, restoration of the relationship can happen; in the latter, not so (think of Stephen in Acts 7:60:  he forgave those who were stoning him, despite the absence of any repentance [see also Luke 23:34]).

Bottom line:  forgiveness “from the heart” must be granted even if an offender doesn’t repent—even if they “hate you” (Luke 6:27).  And yet, the fullest expression of forgiveness can only be realized when there is humble repentance.  “The victim of the wrongdoing in either case must forgive inwardly, while recon­ciliation depends on whether the perpetrator recognizes his wrongdoing and repents or does not” (pp. 106-107).